Relationships are one of the most valuable things to me. I have a few close friends and wonderful parents who form the bedrock of my life. I would also like to develop a relationship with a significant other when I’m a little better.
Friendships were easy and fun while in college, especially during freshman and even sophomore year. Unfortunately, easy friendships become scarce after college. In this article, I intend to break down the change (or lack thereof) in several of my relationship categories.
Romantic Relationships
- Aww, how adorable!
I thought dating was hard in college. I was completely wrong.
Dating is much harder in a post-college world. Between the long laundry list of obligations, attempting to start a career, and spending time with friends, dating is an accomplishment.
I also have yet to find anyone that is too interested in me romantically. Albeit, the dating pool is a bit small where I live, but still, occasionally that hurts the little pride I have.
A romantic relationship has been continually elusive for me. I’m currently taking steps to try and change this, but for now a significant other is absent while I make myself a more worthwhile partner.
So for now, not much has changed except the game has become more difficult. I intend to report changes in this within the next couple of years!
Friendships
Good friendships are hard to maintain. Many friendships fade after the convenience disappears.
For my true friends reading this, thank you. I’m so thankful that I have several strong friendships which have endured this tough transitional period. I’m still geographically close to many of my friends which certainly helps. Aside from close proximity, we also put effort into keeping in contact which helps keep the relationships strong.
One thing I’ve realized in hindsight is how I took the friend time for granted in university. It is so much harder to get together with friends now than while in college. For anyone in college reading this, my humble piece of advice would be to cherish the time with your college friends and create kick-ass memories.
Although some of the college friendships will fade, the memories made together won’t. I still fondly remember late nights, impromptu road trips, and grand adventures taken with close friends.
Parents
This relationship is the one that has evolved the most for me pre and post-college. Unlike many 17-year-olds, I was always pretty content with my parents. Although I occasionally yearned for a bit more freedom, there wasn’t an overwhelming need to escape.
Weirdly enough, I had my “rebellious phase” mid-way through college. Usually, this was after extended stays with my family. In fairness, my agitation was more at the lack of things to do while back home, but still, it transferred onto my parents.
This narrative changed after my time in South Africa. While enduring the transitional pains, they were my biggest supporters. I realized their love and affection was truly unconditional. They also offered sage advice that saved my bacon on more than one occasion.
I’m currently living with them and have mixed emotions. Firstly, I’m thankful my parents are gracious enough to welcome me back into their home. I know it hasn’t been easy, but their patience with me has been invaluable while I figure out “how to adult.”
I also have a weird bittersweet feeling. It may be one of the last holiday seasons I get to spend with them. While excited and thankful for the opportunity, it’s a sad thought. It’s just another sobering reminder of everything’s impermanence.
Until recently, I also harbored a little sadness at moving back home. In my mind, because of social expectations, I thought it was defeat. I’m now starting to realize that it’s a strategic move. My experience abroad also taught me that multi-generational households aren’t uncommon globally.
I find it helpful to remind myself of this fact. It allows me to enjoy the time and perks of living at home without the guilt. This doesn’t mean I don’t eventually want a place of my own, just that I’m able to be more content with where I am.
Closing Thoughts
Relationships are vital for personal happiness and success. As I transition away from the life of the student, I’m learning how to navigate the changing waters. I’m thankful for all the experiences I’ve had so far, and I cannot wait to share my next adventures with those who matter most to me.
Apprentice Adult 